Christmas is a wonderful time of year. It’s a time of joy, of love and of giving. For many people, however, it’s also a time for sadness, loneliness and depression. Commonly referred to as the “Christmas blues,” these feelings can be more than just a dampener on your holiday spirits. They can also be symptoms of a much greater problem and shouldn’t be avoided. Instead, the issues should be properly addressed.
The Christmas blues can be caused by a lot of different things such as:
- The loss of a loved one
- The end of a relationship
- Disappointment with present-day circumstances
- Rose-colored memories of how things used to be
- Unrealistic expectations
- Or any of 1,000 other things.
Unfortunately, there is no universal “cure-all” for the Christmas Blues. What works for me, may not work for you and vice versa. I do have some suggestions for you that I hope will help. Please keep in mind that I am not a Psychologist, Psychiatrist or medical professional and that these suggestions are only intended for mild cases of “the Blues.” If you are suffering from severe depression or anxiety, you should seek competent professional advice right away. Just so we’re clear, I’m not a doctor and I don’t even play one on TV. OK?
Now that the disclaimer has been put in place and the lawyers should be happy, here are some tips that I use to fight off the Christmas Blues.
Step one is to discover why you are feeling blue. If at all possible, work to get to the root cause. After all, you can’t fight a problem you can’t identify.
- Have realistic expectations. This is the biggie and it shows up in almost every Christmas tips article I write. Why? Because it is so easy to get unrealistically high expectations. After all, almost every holiday movie you watch shows every problem being solved in less than two hours. In the end, all of the characters are in an impeccably decorated house, looking out on the falling snow while Christmas carols play softly in the background. Unfortunately, real life isn’t like that. Your house may be a mess. Like me, you may live in the desert and have no chance of snow fall. Worse yet, your problem may still be looming overhead. Don’t expect perfection. Forget perfection. It doesn’t exist on this world. If perfection did exist, Jesus would not have had to be born in that stable in Bethlehem and we wouldn’t have Christmas anyway. Christmas is about finding the joy where it is not looking for it in the “perfect holiday.”
- If finances are a big problem this year, move the focus off of presents as much as possible. Sure, everyone loves to get presents, but they should not be the centerpiece of your holiday season. Yes, I know that this is contrary to what the commercials all say, but it’s true. Work on making memories more than buying presents. Presents break, get used up or get tossed in a closet to rot; memories, on the other hand, last a lifetime.
- The loss of a loved one can also be tough to deal with at Christmas. This is especially true if the loved one was a parent, spouse or child. After all, families are supposed to be together at Christmas and there is now an empty place at the table. We are usually tempted to try ignore the fact that the loved one is gone, but that’s not possible and it’s unhealthy to even try it. Instead of concentrating on the fact that the loved one is not here, concentrate on the Christmas seasons you did share together. Bring out the photos, home movies, whatever. I remember when we lost three dear loved ones in 2006, we put their photos on Christmas ornaments and put them on our tree every year. That way, they are still a part of our Christmas, even though they are not here with us. In the years since, we’ve lost more loved ones and, this year, there will be more special ornaments on the tree.
- Remember, it’s OK to cry. Everything we see tells us that Christmas is a time for laughter, not tears. We often feel strange and out-of-step if we feel like crying during the holidays so we try to suppress it. Don’t do that. Let it go. It is usually OK to cry as long as tears aren’t flowing during all your waking hours.
- Have a good support group around you. Talk to people. When we’re sad, it’s very tempting to isolate ourselves and wallow in our sadness. In my life, I have found it much better to talk to friends, family members, the pastor or other trustworthy souls. If the problem is that you’re lonely because you don’t feel that you have anyone to talk to, then I suggest that you get involved in an activity such as volunteering at a charity.
- Avoid alcohol. It may seem like a good idea to “drown your sorrows,” but this doesn’t usually work and alcohol just tends to make it worse.
- If you’re sad because Christmas seemed happier when you were a child, and the long-held traditions just don’t seem as much fun, make some new traditions. Remember, every tradition started somewhere. Be creative.
As I said, this list is not all-inclusive or universal and you may find that nothing on this list works for you. If that’s the case, that’s OK as long as it gets you to thinking and searching for your own solution. If you are suffering from severe depression or anxiety, please don’t rely on a Christmas website (or any other website) for an answer. Seek out help from a competent mental health professional. Remember, Christmas is a time of love and, whether you know it or not, you are loved. We pray that you will have a wonderful and joyous Christmas season.
For more information, please see my article entitled “7 Tips For A Low-Stress Christmas”
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